Slippery When Wet!

Charles David Yellow Platform

Bright yellow warning signs!

Strike a pose bitches!  That’s right it’s me again.  The sexiest sexy shoe blogger ever to post a pic of her very own collection of super sexy shoes.  What have I been up to you ask?  Well of course I have been out on the town in my uber-sexy shoes making all of the pitiful boys drool.  Drool so much that bars are forced to put up those little yellow signs that say “Slippery When Wet”.  I’m never quite sure if the sign refers to the drool covered floor or if it’s part of a user manual for you know who.  I mean really don’t all those silly men know that they should save up that saliva and put it to much better use later?  (Tee hee look I just turned Boyz II Men!)

Anyway, sometimes I get lucky and the sign matches my sexy shoes like the yellow Charles David ones I’ve got on in the picture.  Maybe I’ll convince all the bars to get the signs in multiple colors so that they will always match my sexy shoes. 

Can you guess why I’ve got my feet in the air?  It just might have something to do with….

 

Kisses!

Dueling Stillettos

Patent leather bait for horny men!

Patent leather bait for horny men!

When I wear a pair of my sexiest shoes to the latest hot spot, I like to make sure that as many men as possible notice them.  In fact, if I don’t get at least one spontaneous compliment about my delectable legs in those delicious high heels before I’m finished drinking or eating or shopping or just plain showing off, I go home in a terribly depressed mood and immediately hop on-line to find some new shoes guaranteed to get me the attention I deserve.  I admit it.  I’m an attention whore.

Over time I have become aware of some techniques that will make sure that I buy all my hot shoes in a mood of triumph rather than failure.  I find that the most important thing to remember  is that men’s eyes are drawn to motion like the simple animals they are.  And it may seem an obvious  thing to say, but if my shoes aren’t visible from across the room then the number of men who can admire the stunning beauty of those perfect stilettos on my feet hasn’t been maximized.

So I flirt with anybody who can get me a tall chair in the center of the room and make sure to turn my legs towards the room.   No hiding under a long table cloth…what a tragic waste that would be!  And then the piece deresistance is to keep one foot in the air and moving at all times.  If it’s at all possible to manage and still look sexy, I get my feet up on any sort of nearby railing to put them directly at eye level for the pitiful man beasts milling about my feet.  In boots a slight kick and bounce of the leg or a slow rotation of the ankle is sure to attract notice.  Hot shoes let me dangle one from the end of my toes and show off the curve of my arch…this one really drives them wild.  (I’ve included a demonstration shot in my black patent leather Lalo’s from Steve Madden for your lusting pleasure!) I’m forever waiting for the opportunity to ‘accidentally’ drop my shoe directly in the path of a passing target.  The look of sheer lust in the eyes of a trapped manimal as he bends to help me replace my ‘man bait’ is oh so satisfying.

And I’m not alone in my use of spiked heels to satisfy my desire to be the center of every man’s universe.   I know this because just this past weekend I observed a blatant tag team effort by two members of the competition who were hot enough to make me briefly consider changing teams.  Sitting on a couch in a local bar they put on quite a show.  Ten minutes, each with a leg stretched above their heads, enacting a sword fight of knee-high boot against patent leather platform heels and they had a swarm of pitiful doormats vying for their attention.

It works!

Kisses!

The Stern Librarian

silver-steve-maddenThe stern librarian look was something I hadn’t expected to achieve.  I just threw together an outfit around these silver Steve Madden’s I don’t wear nearly enough, and I ran out the door.  The skirt looked cute with the shoes.  That’s as far as I got in my deliberations before I ran out of time.

It was only once I arrived at the trendy local gastropubwhere I was having dinner that the overall impact of my choice of outfit was having on the men around me.  Suddenly I couldn’t interact with a single man in the place without being referred to as “ma’am”.  And a shocking number of men kept their eyes downcast while speaking to me as if they were ashamed of something they had done.  I mean I know that if I bumped into one of the fans of my little blog here, their eyes would have trouble resisting the urge to stray towards my feet.  Stealing surreptitious glances of whatever pair of terrifically sexy shoes I had wrapped around my elegant feet.  But this was ridiculous – every single one of them looked as if they were waiting to be punished for naughtiness that I couldn’t begin to imagine.

It made me uncomfortable at first, but in the end I decided to take advantage of my advantage.  I got the seat at the bar I coveted, didn’t need to buy a drink all night and insisted upon being entertained by all who sat near me.  At the end of the night I realized that I didn’t even need to walk all the way back to my car.  I sent one of my many contrite “student” admirers to get it for me and while I waited I had another take this picture for all of you to enjoy.  Lucky you!

Now you behave…Kisses

Celebrity Latex

What’s that you say?  Latex pants?  That can’t be right.  The only knee latex was meant to slide over is the middle one, right before some stud makes me moan.  Isn’t that it?

Turns out there’s another use for latex almost as good as that…making my ass look effen hot.  A while back I started to notice more and more shots of super hot celebrity legs wrapped up in latex.  It looked so good that I just had to have a pair.  And then I absolutely had to find somewhere to wear them.  I didn’t really think that a trip to Target was sufficient reason to slide into them.

The dilemma left me with only one choice.  I was forced to put in an appearance at swank LA club.  Put together a look that included my brown suede, stiletto heeled Mia boots over the black latex pants.  I was totally Fergulicious that night.  Mmmmmm…Yummy!  Unfortunately, I didn’t get a shot of my hot ass in the latex for you to enjoy so you will just have to use your imagination.

And speaking of M.I.A., has anybody else heard this Kevin and Bean parody called “Paper Stains”?  Too funny!

Kisses

Halloween – to be a “Slutty Sexpot” or a “Sexy Slut”?

Officer Naughty walks the Halloween beat.

Wow!  Can you believe it has already been over two weeks since my last post?  I had no idea how fast this blogging thing could get away from me while I was having fun in my sexy shoes.  Don’t worry I didn’t forget about you and I have new pictures stacked up waiting for fun thoughts to go with them.

Now that it is October, I’ve begun to ponder what and where I should be for Halloween.  Fortunately for me, I am a hot girl with a collection of sexy shoes.  What that means is just about anything I put on that night becomes a costume as long as people can add words such as “naughty”, “sexy”, “hot” or especially “slutty” in front of the costume name.  I mean seriously, has anyone ever actually thought of the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz was sexy?  But here it is – the Sexy Scarecrow costume.  Ridiculous but true.  Last year I went for the Officer Naughty paired with my black suede, wedge heel, knee-high Franco Sarto boots.  Of course I was on duty all night…there was no shortage of male offenders needing to be cuffed and beaten with my billy club.  As that girl who is famous for nothing more than wearing her “Sexy Debutante” costume all year round once said, “That’s Hot!”

Now if only I could settle on a costume for this year so that I can get on with the all-important business of picking just the right pair of hot shoes to go with it.

Kisses!

Boots Over Chile

Damn sexy boots straight outta Santiago!

Remember how I said that Santiago de Chile was a boot lover’s dream city with almost every woman I saw there wearing stylish, sexy boots?  It’s true.  Every time I turned around there was yet another pair of beautiful boots walking by, pushing me ever closer to the brink of desperation.  A desperate need to buy new boots.

I also had a problem.  In the interests of space conservation while packing, I had to make some difficult choices.  You see I was going skiing and was guaranteed to be trudging around in some heavy snow so it was an absolute necessity to bring along my cute but mostly functional flat, furry winter boots.  Which, if I wanted to have plenty of space for packing the spoils of my shopping, meant that there just wasn’t room for a favourite pair of sexy boots.  Instead, I made a carefully planned compromise and packed my red patent leather Jessica Simpson peep toe heels.  That worked out well until I realised just how essential a pair of really sexy boots turned out to be in Santiago. 

Fortunately for me, the packing compromise left me plenty of space to smuggle back the absolutely gorgeous Nine West boots that are the centerpiece of today’s picture.  There were far too many fucking hot pairs of boots to choose from.  My imagination was overloading with the fantasies brought on by the incredible collection of boots I had to choose from.  These won out though.  There is no doubt in my mind that I will be able to put this pair of man magnets to good use driving all of you wild with desire.  Stay tuned for the adventures of Mistress Santiago and her Boots of Desire.

Kisses!

Would you buy these boots?

Would you buy these boots for me?
Would you buy these boots for me?

I think I need a new pair of boots.  Not that I don’t already have a lot of boots.  But I don’t have any in gray.  And really a girl can never have too many pairs of sexy boots.  Particularly a girl who has a blog full of pictures of herself in sexy shoes and boots to maintain.  I know all of you would be miserable if I told you that I couldn’t post any more pictures because I had run out of sexy shoes for the pictures.

So after looking around I have settled on these boots from Newport News.  I think they are elegant but still seriously sexy.  I can imagine wearing them to the opera, perhaps with this skirt to match.  I want to see a new opera on right now in Los Angeles, The Fly, directed by David Cronenberg, that is a remake of his movie from 1986.  I hear there are some very sexy scenes in it.  But I imagine all the men around me being incapable of watching the action on stage because they are too completely distracted by how much they want to lick the shiny black patent leather on the toe of my boot.  Men staring intently as I cross my legs and ever so slightly rotate my ankle back and forth specifically because I know it holds their attention and makes them rock hard.
So what do you all think?  Would you buy these boots for me if you had the chance?  Would you attend an opera for a chance that you might see me there with my date wearing the boots you had bought for me?  Do you think these are sexy enough to make you fantasize about kissing them?  Leave me a comment and let me know.
Kisses!
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